Regardless, there is a specific reason for my post. One week ago I had the opportunity to share my faith story at my church. We revamped our worship services and switched some stuff around, and now there is a service led by a young adult choir, which is SWEET. Anyway, I shared my story at the first young adult service, which was an incredible honor. I felt like I should put that story here as well, because it explains some stuff about my previous posts. I had to keep it short though, so there is quite a bit of detail missing. Oh well, it is what it is....
Coincidentally or not, exactly one year and two hours ago today, I walked through the doors of the Weber Street Center to attend Seekers for the very first time. If someone would have told me then that I would be sharing my faith story with you now, I probably would have laughed. You see, one year ago when I first went to Seekers, I would not have called myself a Christian. Really, I didn't believe in much of anything. Instead, I was a skeptic to the core.
I am a senior physics major at Colorado College, which suits my inquisitive nature very well. I love asking questions and seeking out answers. When I first walked into Seekers, I had a lot of questions, few of which I could even articulate into words. I did not grow up in a Christian household, and some of my experiences through high school and the first couple years of college led me to think that the last place I could ever belong would be within the walls of a church.
But a year ago when I returned to campus, I found myself bringing up questions that I had suppressed for quite some time. Questions ranging from deep theological issues to the seemingly mundane, but they were all important to me. I started tackling each question with the help and guidance of others, and I can now look back and see how God was working in my life through those people. The Seekers community welcomed me in and provided me a safe place to search and discover that following Christ was not all that I had assumed it to be. It was within patient conversations with very loving people that I first opened up enough to see a glimpse of God's love and grace. I know now that it was the grace extended towards me from my new friends and community found here that enabled me to begin accepting the idea that God does love all of us unconditionally, even me. Before then I had assumed that if my past and my brokenness didn't deem me unlovable, then my doubts and endless questions most certainly would.
I was messy, and I didn't think God did messy.
But within Seekers and this church I encountered real people, experiencing and living their faith in real ways. It was honest and genuine, something I hadn't seen before.
As I grew in my relationship with God, I came to a point where I thought that in order to make the "leap of faith", in order to really trust Christ with all of me, it would require me to abandon the reasoning and logic that I value. I thought that in order to be true to myself, I would need all the answers first. Over time though, others helped me realize that following Christ isn't about not asking questions. On the contrary, inquiring and seeking is part of the journey. I realized that my list of questions didn't need individual answers anymore. Christ is the answer sheet, and everything else follows.
For me now, asking questions and searching are both a form of worship, embracing the blessing of logic and reasoning that has been given to us. I realized that even my quirky science and math ways have a place in the Body of Christ, and that God is truly faithful to where we are when we find Him. I realized that Christ's love is real, and He doesn't shy away from my past, my brokenness, or my questions. He welcomes my questions, just as I was welcomed into this community of believers by all of you. For that, I thank you. It has been quite a year.
I am a senior physics major at Colorado College, which suits my inquisitive nature very well. I love asking questions and seeking out answers. When I first walked into Seekers, I had a lot of questions, few of which I could even articulate into words. I did not grow up in a Christian household, and some of my experiences through high school and the first couple years of college led me to think that the last place I could ever belong would be within the walls of a church.
But a year ago when I returned to campus, I found myself bringing up questions that I had suppressed for quite some time. Questions ranging from deep theological issues to the seemingly mundane, but they were all important to me. I started tackling each question with the help and guidance of others, and I can now look back and see how God was working in my life through those people. The Seekers community welcomed me in and provided me a safe place to search and discover that following Christ was not all that I had assumed it to be. It was within patient conversations with very loving people that I first opened up enough to see a glimpse of God's love and grace. I know now that it was the grace extended towards me from my new friends and community found here that enabled me to begin accepting the idea that God does love all of us unconditionally, even me. Before then I had assumed that if my past and my brokenness didn't deem me unlovable, then my doubts and endless questions most certainly would.
I was messy, and I didn't think God did messy.
But within Seekers and this church I encountered real people, experiencing and living their faith in real ways. It was honest and genuine, something I hadn't seen before.
As I grew in my relationship with God, I came to a point where I thought that in order to make the "leap of faith", in order to really trust Christ with all of me, it would require me to abandon the reasoning and logic that I value. I thought that in order to be true to myself, I would need all the answers first. Over time though, others helped me realize that following Christ isn't about not asking questions. On the contrary, inquiring and seeking is part of the journey. I realized that my list of questions didn't need individual answers anymore. Christ is the answer sheet, and everything else follows.
For me now, asking questions and searching are both a form of worship, embracing the blessing of logic and reasoning that has been given to us. I realized that even my quirky science and math ways have a place in the Body of Christ, and that God is truly faithful to where we are when we find Him. I realized that Christ's love is real, and He doesn't shy away from my past, my brokenness, or my questions. He welcomes my questions, just as I was welcomed into this community of believers by all of you. For that, I thank you. It has been quite a year.
