Connecting back

I have just started reading Sex God by Rob Bell. It is downright fantastic. And I'm only 50 pages in.

I'm a fan of Rob Bell in general, so I know I was predisposed to like this book from the beginning. I loved his last book, Velvet Elvis. He writes with such a thought provoking clarity I wish I was capable of. It's a clarity that forces me to stop and question. Truly fantastic.
Sex God catches attention because of the title, of course. The subtitle is "Exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality". Although some people might declare that connecting sexuality and spirituality is dangerous and blasphemous, I would disagree wholeheartedly. I have been looking for a book like this for quite awhile. (And since Bell's endnotes are so great I already have a list of others to look into.)


For me, part of spirituality is dealing with and becoming more of who you were made to be. We were all made human. We were all made beautiful. But we are quickly and easily tarnished, broken, and disconnected. The Beautiful is lost. Spirituality is a journey back to the real humanity, the new humanity.

Sexuality is part of being human. It can be abused, misused, and exploited, just like any other aspect of our existence. And because it is so, so, SO intertwined with who we are and our own identity, its damage can go deeper than we realize. But it is still part of our humanity, part of the Beautiful we are meant to be. And it is connected, incredibly so, to spirituality. I am extremely thankful that someone as gifted and thoughtful as Rob Bell has taken on this controversial topic. (This isn't to say that others have not, I just haven't come across their work personally.)

I am already challenged by this book in some very needed ways. This is an excerpt that, I believe, speaks for itself:

"You can't be connected with God until you're at peace with you who are. If you're still upset that God gave you this body or this life or this family or these circumstances, you will never be able to connect with God in a healthy, thriving, sustainable sort of way. You'll be at odds with your maker. And if you can't come to terms with who you are and the life you've been given, you'll never be able to accept others and how they were made and the lives they've been given. And until you're at peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your role on the planet, your part to play in the ongoing creation of the universe. You will continue to struggle and resist and fail to connect.

The other day my five-year-old son asked my wife, 'Mom, what does sexy mean?'

She thought about it for a second, and then replied, 'Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. Your own body feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you.'

Because it all starts with being sexy on the inside." (46)


Much of what I've written on this blog so far deals with my struggles regarding where my life might be headed after this upcoming school year. On figuring "me" out, finding my calling, my vocation. Frankly, I'm worried that I won't get it right. Reading this forces me to face the fact that I have been avoiding and denying the possibility that my past, my experiences, and "these circumstances" I have been placed in may have quite a bit to do with my future. Really, they have everything to do with my future. What I am meant to do is greatly dependent on who I am, and who I am is greatly dependent on what has shaped me. I may not like that, but it doesn't make it any less true. If I am to find where I'm headed, I have to be at peace with who I am now, and (more importantly for me) who I have been.

Easier said than done, but knowing where to start is the only way to begin.